Continued from last Week (Monday 5 DEC) - (and 7, 14, 21 and 28 Nov)

Thursday morning saw us docked in Palermo Sicily we were again very near the town centre so easy to access but the pavements and traffic were once more horrific. My fellow cruisers once more came to my rescue and helped me to get on and off the pavements. Trying to cross roads was nearly impossible the crossings had pedestrian lights but the traffic just ignored them and we really did dice with death trying to get across.  I spent all morning in Palermo and managed to find a pharmacy to buy some medication for my sore throat.  When the time came for us to leave port it was a major feat for our Captain to steer our ship out of harbour because there were a good dozen other cruise ships anchored in dock.

Friday was a quiet day so that we could do our packing and last minute shopping from the ships boutiques. As usual I had to buy another small bag as I had more to bring home than I brought. Dinner tonight was time to say farewell to our fellow diners and table staff so it was quite sad but we all agreed we had enjoyed a really good cruise and the staff could definitely not have done more for us.

We arrived back in Barcelona harbour early and I had to be off the ship by 7.00.am because my flight to Heathrow was at 11.00.am. A wheelchair taxi was waiting at the port and I had an uneventful journey to the airport. A representative was waiting to escort me to the BA check in desk but this was manned by Iberian staff who spoke little English and the lady was very unhelpful and obviously not used to dealing with passengers who had wheelchairs to transport. I had paid £10 for a pre booked seat in row 12 but the check-in lady insisted I had to sit in row 24 as people with disabilities had to be seated near the rear of the plane. She then sent for two special needs helpers who also could not speak English and had no idea at all how to get my electric chair to the plane. It was a complete nightmare and I was locked up in a room with two hard seats made to transfer while my wheelchairs were checked for drugs. By the time this was done my electric chair was wheeled away and I was pushed to the departure gate and left there for two hours on my own with no help to get to the toilet facilities.

Luckily my plane left on time and I was soon re-united with my chair and luggage in the reclaim hall. Heathrow staff were excellent and I had a mobile phone call from Mark my taxi driver to say he would be with me about 1.00.p.m. I sat with my luggage and Mark arrived he soon had me and my bags stowed away and we were home in about two hours after an uneventful journey home. I had only been back half an hour when my two cats arrived fit and well from the cattery and I knew I was well and truly home.

Continued from last Week (Monday 28) - (and 7, 14 and 21 Nov)

Monday Day at Sea I had tea and toast in bed because I had an invite to the Captains Brunch at 9.30.am. It was a very lavish affair with every delicacy you can think of. I had Spanish omelette, peppered mackerel, smoked salmon, cheese and croissants it was all so delicious. One of the ships officers chatted with me for a long time because he has tried to get his grandmother who is a little older than me to have some cruises but all she does is languish at home although she is fit and well.

Apparently a lot of the officers and cruise Director saw me return to the ship yesterday like a drowned rat and wanted to know about my escapade.

I must add here that the whole crew of Brilliance of the Seas were fantastic and helped me incessantly yes friends were around but the freedom I felt by having a stateroom to myself was absolutely wonderful. Shella my stewardess could not do enough to help me.

There were a couple of American men three cabins away from mine one was very extrovert and had bought a Turkish Sultan’s robe and hat while in Istanbul so he cam e to my cabin to show himself off/ The hilarity was so great that the other guests on our deck came to see what it was going on. I took photos and the Sultans friend also took some. I was still suffering from cold and chill so just had some soup for lunch then had a nap before it was time for a game of bingo. I didn’t win but decided not to continue paying 30$ a time for the privilege when the winnings were so poor in my opinion it was definitely not a fair deal. I did play a few times on the slot machines but again the chance of winning had diminished greatly since my last cruise.

Tuesday morning saw us docked in Athens. I had a disabled friendly two and a half hour tour booked so after breakfast in the dining room I went to the dock gates to find the mini bus. The tour was very educating and we were taken to various points of interest including the Metropolis and we saw all the buildings that were used for the Athens Olympic Games. Our lady guide and man driver were very helpful indeed. The following day a huge Industrial Strike had been organised involving the euro and several of the street we tried to access were blocked because of large groups of people collecting to demonstrate ready for the next day. I took quite a few photos one of an old Roman Bath encased in glass. My cold and sore throat was really bad today so rested as much as possible between visits to the dining room.

Wednesday October 19 we had another day at sea with a chance to rest and try and get rid of my cold. Dinner was another formal event so we all had to put our finery on again and I took pictures of our waiters and my fellow table companions.

Continued from last Week (Monday 21) - (and 7, 14 Nov)

Sunday we are still docked in Istanbul and it is still raining heavily. Had a leisurely breakfast and joined in some of the activities on the ship during the morning. I made some enquiries about how to get to a local spice market and was told that due to a Marathon being held that day the bridge didn’t open until 2.00.p.m and one had to cross this to get to the market. I went to the upper deck and had a snack meal before donning my rain jacket to venture out on my quest. The ships security staff checked my rain jacket and hood were secure and told me to turn right at the port gates and it would be a fifteen minute journey in my electric chair. One hour later drenched and down to my last green light I decided I had better turn round and return to the ship as there was no sign of a bridge let alone the Spice Market?

The pavements were a nightmare to negotiate and I can’t remember how many nice Turkish men came to my rescue to help during my unsuccessful jaunt! On the way back the rain absolutely fell down and the main road was under water but I suddenly had a young man escorting me along the road protecting me from some of the traffic back wash. He was wonderful and took me right back to the ship, if that the way Turkish men treat their woman I will look for a Turkish Husband!!!

When I got back to the ship the security men wrapped me in towels and escorted me back to my suite without even getting me through the security gate! All I could do was peel off my clothes  have another hot shower and get into bed to warm up I later learned that I was given the wrong instructions to the spice market I should have been told to turn left!!!! I woke up in time to go to dinner at 6.00.pm and get my table companions entertained with my day’s experience. I chose every course that had garlic that evening to ensure I didn’t get a cold but it didn’t work and next day I had a really bad chill.  

I did go to the theatre after my meal where there was a whacky American Comedian who told stories and did tricks that went wrong on purpose. When the show was over he was outside selling CDs by the disabled toilet and gallantly opened the door for me! The end to a perfect day in Turkey!

Continued from last Week (Monday 14) - (and 7 Nov)

Friday October 14 was another day at sea. I had breakfast with a large group of all nationalities but the service was exceptionally bad and the meal lasted over two hours. I didn’t complain but the other guests on my table did and things definitely improved over the remaining days. During breakfast I happened to mention to an American lady that my mobile phone was not working. She found that somehow BA had put a block on it during the flight so she found how to correct it and from then onwards I was able to receive and send texts.  I think some of my friends were a little concerned that they could not contact me and I was soon able to re-assure them everything was ok. Vodaphone charges in Turkey were exorbitant so I only sent a few texts.

I went to a talk during the morning on Istanbul and found it very interesting and educational. There was also a food fare on board 12.00 – 2.00 with lots of tasty food to try I had my first Tortilla crammed with hot chilli beef, sour cream and cheese it was truly wonderful and I followed this up with chicken Taco and then fruit kebabs for sweet. I certainly needed a rest after this feast then went to bingo but didn’t win. It was another formal night so we all dressed up again in our best outfits for dinner. The menu was all Italian I had cream of garlic soup for my starter so it was a good job I was sleeping alone, I followed this with lamb shank and had a dreamy raspberry desert which left me absolutely stuffed! I hardly had the energy to have a short spell on the slot machines before retiring to bed as I had an early start the next day.

Saturday morning I woke early to see the lights of Istanbul and take some pictures the scenery was breathtaking. I had arranged to have my breakfast in my cabin for 6.30 as I had to join a pre-booked tour at 8.00.am. After the past good weather we had experienced I was not ready for the deluge of rain in Turkey which to coin a phrase did put a dampener on my visit! A wheel-chair adapted vehicle was waiting at the dock gates and there were just me and an Irish man in wheelchairs with his wife. We had a nice driver and our own guide who gave us a lot of information. I learned that there are thirteen and a half million people in Istanbul. There are 86 Provinces in Turkey Istanbul being one, 40% living in the Asian side and 60% in Istanbul. I learned that Raki is the local alcoholic tipple and the big bridge over to the Asian side is called the Bosporus.  Our guide took us to a 2000 year old Mosque which was so interesting and the mosaic work inside was incredible I took a whole lot of photographs and even found a ginger cat sitting by a large ceramic pot!. We crossed over the Golden Horn Bridge before being taken to a large department store which had about ten steps up to the entrance door. I was soon surrounded by about six strong Turkish gentlemen who proceeded to carry me in my electric chair up the steps. We went into the carpet showroom and were entertained with hot lemon tea which was lovely and learned all about the art of carpet making. Most of the carpets are made by people in their own homes and the quality of their work was perfection. I did buy a very small one to hang on one of my walls to remind me of my Turkish visit when I get home. I also treated myself to an opal ring which has been constantly admired. When I got back to the ship I was so wet and cold I had a hot shower and went to bed till Supper time. Dinner was good as usual and afterwards I

SHIRLEY’S ADVENTURE CRUISE 2011- Part 2

Continued from last Week (Monday 7 Nov)

Everyone had to attend the compulsory Ships drill and hear about the procedures arranged in the event of the ship having to be evacuated.

My evening dining time had been pre-arranged for 6.00.pm and I was supposed to be sharing a table of six. My first dining session was spent on my own as the other diners for my table did not appear. The second night I was moved to another table for six and yet again no-one appeared to join me. By this time I was wondering if I had something catching but was re-assured by the Maître-De that the other diners had opted for a later time. On the third evening I was escorted by the Maitre-De to another dining room and spent the rest of my dining evenings sharing a table with a lovely couple called Kevin and Sarah, they were celebrating Kevin’s 50^th Birthday.

I had a very early night on my embarkation day as what with all the stresses of the day I was well and truly shattered. Our second day at sea was really spent by everyone finding their way around it was also a formal night whereby everyone got dressed up in their finery for dinner.

Wednesday morning saw us anchored in Messina Sicily port which was very near the town and we only had to come out of the port and cross the road. However it was a case of taking your life in your hands to cross the roads there was a dropped kerb of a sort one side of the road but nothing the other side and the traffic would not give way to pedestrians let alone wheelchairs. I did manage to reach the Cathedral at the top of a cobbled street which had one door for access without steps so was able to take some photographs of the interior as the building was vast and had loads of interesting features. The weather was warm and sunny and I returned to our Ship for a snack lunch and a rest before the evening entertainment.

Thursday morning saw us docked at Corfu in Greece so after having breakfast I decided to ask one of the ship’s officers what was available for me to explore. He escorted me to the Dock Gates where the shuttle buses were but unfortunately none were accessible for wheelchairs. A taxi man came up and asked if I would like a tour of the Island but I explained that no way could he get my power chair in the boot of a car to which he replied “my name is George and I can do the impossible.” After some haggling I agreed a price and he put me in the front seat of his large Mercedes car got his friend to help him and they both lifted my power chair into the boot and off we went round the Island with the boot lid waving in the wind. It was another warm sunny day and I had a good two and a half hour trip round the beautiful Island of Corfu with George stopping for a drink half way before returning back to the ship. I went straight on to the top deck for a snack lunch it was help yourself but I never had a chance to look around to see what delicacies were available before a waiter descended to help me. I had a rest before going to the Captains cocktail party and meeting up with a lot of very interesting fellow cruisers.

SHIRLEY’S ADVENTURE CRUISE 2011

This holiday was a very much last minute decision and all arranged within two weeks. Looking back I suppose I should have been a bit cautious about venturing off on my own but I could not see any reason why I should not be able to manage a cruise and had to give it a try for my own self esteem.

With the help of my friend Nigel of Thomas Cook Eastbourne we found a cruise which was supposed to visit Egypt but I later found that due to problems there earlier in the year it had been changed to include Turkey. Royal Caribbean were very helpful and although they only had a disabled mini suite available sold it to me for single occupancy.

The only problem I was a little uncertain about was that I had to take a flight to Barcelona from Heathrow as Gatwick was not an option and my flight on October 10th left at 7.10.am.

Needing to take both my power chair and manual chairs and to check in at 5.00.am meant that I would have to leave home between 2.00 & 3.00 and would require wheelchair transport and this was very difficult to find.

My friend Wayne came to the rescue and with the aid of his trailer attached to my car drove me, my wheelchairs and luggage to the airport reaching the check-in desk of British Airways with time to spare. I was very grateful for his assistance especially as he was leaving Eastbourne at 11.00.am the same day for a spell in Turkey.

I received great assistance at Heathrow and my flight which left on time was uneventful. My arrival at Barcelona however was not without hassle and although I was re-united quite quickly with my manual chair and luggage my power chair was missing and could not be located for almost three hours after my landing.

I heaved a great sigh of relief when I was seated in my electric chair but this did not last for long because when I found the Royal Caribbean Representative she had no record that I needed wheelchair transport to the Ship and said I had to use the coach that had five steps. Luckily I had written confirmation to produce that wheelchair transport had been requested but I had another two hours to wait for this to appear in the form of an accessible taxi.

When I eventually boarded Brilliance of The Seas and checked into my mini suite I could then relax and realise that I had a twelve night cruise of the Eastern Mediterranean to look forward to and enjoy. My accommodation was wonderful, a six foot bed all to myself and enough space for four wheelchairs with a large balcony to view the passing scenery from. The down side was that I didn’t get my luggage until 9.00.pm four hours after sailing so I was unable to change into some fresh clothes for dinner. My stewardess was an angel her name was Shella and there was nothing she wouldn’t do to assist me and we are hoping to keep in touch. Although she was born in America she is married and lives in Croatia when she isn’t working on board cruise liners to support her family as her husband is disabled with a back injury and unable to continue his work as a ships steward.

HOLIDAYS Part 2

Whilst in Mombasa we visited a small village for disabled people called Bombalulu and had our eyes well and truly opened as to how they adapt the simplest tool to help with their mobility. I felt really humble to be in my shiny blue wheelchair while they only had some metal work and four wheels if that they thought my chair was a limousine.  Amputees had pieces of wood strapped to their stumps and some with no legs at all just lifted themselves over the ground the best way they could. Others were more fortunate to have a piece of wood on four wheels to get around on.

I often think about all the discarded wheelchairs no longer viable over here that would be treated like gold dust in Kenya. When I made enquiries about the possibility of sending old artificial limbs and chairs over to Africa it was the transportation that was a problem.

As soon as we arrived and saw the poverty of Kenya Doreen and I removed the jewellery from our hands not because we were worried of theft but because we felt guilty to have these possessions.  We took socks, pens and pencils to barter with as advised in the UK but ended up giving them away to very grateful recipients.

When we got back to our home land we both had our eyes well and truly opened and realised that compared with some parts of the world we are so very fortunate to have the home comforts that others never will enjoy.

It is a certainty that we in the UK have a lot to be thankful for although when we see services being limited or withdrawn we don’t think so!

NB There will not be a blog for a month as I'm away, but watch this space on my return.

HOLIDAYS Part1

Since being confined to my wheelchair I am very fortunate that I have been able to continue to enjoy annual holidays. After Mac’s fated visit to Majorca I have always been lucky to find a friend to escort me and have over the years visited some very interesting places. One being Kenya

In 1995 my friend Doreen who is also an avid animal lover decided we would like to experience a safari in Kenya. Everyone thought we were a little mad but with good guidance from a travel agent we set off to Mombasa for two weeks. We had been advised to book our proposed safari at the hotel as it needed to be one that I could comfortably enjoy. Our eventual selection was to take a light aircraft flight to the Massai Mara and spend a couple of nights under canvas. This is not quite as it sounds because our tents were canvas houses with proper beds shower and toilet in fact very comfortable.

The first night I was very tired so stayed in our tent while Doreen went to the dining room for dinner. I was brought soup and a sweet so didn’t have to do without food. After eating my repast I lay back in bed revelling in my thoughts of actually being on Safari, that is until I heard a tapping noise on my canvas surroundings then I became very alert imagining a wild animal trying to gain access? After a while the tapping became more intense and I felt some drips of water on my face and realised that my imagination had run wild and it was in fact only rain!

We had to get up very early the following morning and me and my wheelchair were lifted into a jeep with picture windows and padded seats. Sun Rise is the best time to see the vast majority of animals as it is then that they start looking for food. We saw almost all the different inhabitants of the Massai Mara including the big five and we both had a great opportunity to take close up pictures from the jeep. Seeing the wild animals in their natural habitat was a wonderful experience as I have never favoured zoos and nature parks where the animals only have limited freedom. We were also taken to a Massai encampment and met all the natives in their bright red saris. Their mud huts are built in a circle so that the cattle are kept safe within. There had been a lot of rain the previous evening and what with the mud and cattle pancakes I cannot explain what my wheelchair wheels were like. Our guide spent quite some time scraping the tyres and spokes clean and the smell lasted forever! Doreen and I bought some hand-made necklaces from the ladies which I still have today.

JOURNEY HOME FROM HELL

On arrival at Los Angeles we got a taxi to our hotel totally unaware of what had happened until we turned on our television and saw all the flight disruption it had caused.  We tried to get information about our next day flight to UK but to no avail just told to turn up at LA Airport at our allotted time.

After a worrying night receiving text and e-mail messages from home telling us all the UK airports were closed we left our hotel and took a taxi to the Airport. There was no information available until long after check-in time then we were told that all flights to the UK were cancelled.

We now found ourselves with no hotel accommodation and no news as to another flight time and date. We managed to get a telephone number for a hotels bureau and after nearly an hour we confirmed a room in the Spanish sector of LA about twenty minutes from the airport.

The hotel was basic but at least we each had a rooms to stay in until we heard when we could get a flight. The cost of the room with breakfast was our responsibility and had to be rebooked daily because we had no idea of a departure. We could get no information from New Zealand Airways or our travel agent every door we tried to open was impenetrable.

During the six days of our enforced stay in America my mobile phone bill amassed £435 and hotel accommodation £450. Added to this my medication ran out and I had to pay to see a Doctor and then purchase replacement medication which cost me £325.

None of this enforced expenditure has been re-imbursed as our Insurers and Air New Zealand refused to take responsibility. Unluckily the replacement medication reacted against my normal tablets and I was very poorly for the two days preceding our eventual flight home to Heathrow. Our seats were upgraded to Business Class so fortunately I had a bed to lie down on and slept during the entire journey leaving Wayne to enjoy a six course cordon bleu meal!

After wiping out the American experience and taking nearly a month to recover from the medication effects my memories of New Zealand our very vivid and I would quite happily contemplate another visit one day to tour South Island in more detail.

NEW ZEALAND SOUTH ISLAND

After staying a couple of days in Hawera we drove to Wellington Maureen coming with us to stay for two nights in a hotel prior to crossing on the ferry to South Island. We said our farewells to Maureen and did the ferry crossing in three and a half hours then caught the Alpine Express train to Christchurch.

This journey took six hours then we took a taxi to our hotel for five nights so that we could tour Christchurch and the surrounding areas.

After a good night’s sleep we picked up our hire car found a parking place with no charge and then with Wayne pushing me in my wheelchair we spent all day taking photographs and exploring the wonderful city of Christchurch. It was so English and laid back almost as if time had stopped for fifty years. It was with great sadness that later in the year we saw pictures of the total destruction to the heart of the city by a major earthquake.  Our hearts go out to all the great people we encountered during our visit who have suffered due to the devastation of their homes and work places.

The following days were spent driving round some of the beautiful countryside of South Island but there were so many sights we didn’t have time for and always said we would like to return one day and tour the Island in a camper van.

Our stay in Christchurch soon ended and it was time to start our journey home to the UK via Los Angeles. The flight was faultless but what we didn’t know was that a volcano had erupted whilst we were in the air dispersing volcanic ash into the atmosphere.

NEW ZEALAND

These last two years have been quite high lights in my retired life span. My God Daughter Maureen and her husband Kevin from New Zealand came over to stay with me for four weeks in 2009 to celebrate my 75^th birthday which was at the end of September it was her first visit since emigration and Kevin was born in New Zealand. We visited all our local points of interest especially Maureen’s birth place we also went on Euro Star to Paris and by train to Edinburgh. Gambling is quite a big feature in the lives of NZ residents so we had a day at the races and visited a dog racing stadium at Brighton. While they were here it was suggested that my friend Wayne and I go to NZ in 2010 which is exactly what we did.

Most of the arrangements except the flights were selected and bought on the internet which was quite a mammoth task in itself and took many hours. We departed from London Heathrow at 9.00.pm on March 30^th flying with Air New Zealand and had one nights stop-over at Hong Kong flying on the next day to Auckland NZ. After one nights motel stay we picked up our hire car and drove to Rotorua for another overnight stay and opportunity to photograph the local bird life and visit the sulphur pools etc.  From Rotorua we drove to Taupo visiting tourist sights on the way including waterfalls.

After a night’s sleep in Taupo we drove via the lost highway to my God daughter’s house in Hawara. How we ever found this lost road we will never know but it was over 75 kilometres long with no human habitation on the way. Even our friends in NZ had never been along it? 

While staying with Maureen and Kevin we were able to meet the rest of her family which included Letitia their daughter and Carl their son. Both have partners Carl having a little boy called Jake the apple of Grandma’s eye. We also met Maureen’s Eldest sister Helen and family, Brother John and his family, and Barbara who was born between John and Maureen. It was so good to meet up with all the family I had such close connections with when they were young.

HOBBIES August 29th Blog

Apart from my voluntary work I have been able to spend some time on my four favourite pass-times these being flower arranging, gardening, photography and holidays.

My sister-in-law Dorothy has to be congratulated for my interest in flower arranging as she has given me much encouragement and help. I have been allowed to enter Pett Flower Show (being an ex local) now for many years and have been fortunate to win something at every show I have entered. The entries nearly always necessitate some form of accessories and yet again I have had gentlemen to assist me and give me their expertise.

My dependence on a wheelchair limits my ability in the garden therefore I concentrate on hanging baskets tubs and troughs to decorate my patio and front garden throughout the summer. My main joy is to grow my own plants so that I can follow them through the various stages of their growth. As I have hedges and some garden that needs an able bodied approach I have been able to pay for some help with these and the gentlemen concerned have always done a great job coping well with me keeping a watchful eye on them!

For some time now I have entered Eastbourne in Bloom and our local Eastbourne Homes garden competition and have been fortunate in winning some of the years of entering which does give one the incentive to carry on as long as possible. However the results and enjoyment of my colourful garden to me and my friends far out ways the competitive element.

I think I must have inherited my “Green Fingers” from my parents as they were both very avid gardeners. In fact after the war my Father’s main occupation was designing and maintaining business peoples gardens. Most of these were Country residences in our village only used at weekends giving my Father the opportunity to work during the week according to the weather.

I am fortunate that my bungalow has a patio but as it is a semi I have had to suffer a bare brick wall separating me from my neighbour. In summer 2010 my friend Wayne suggested he design a pretend shed by erecting a facade feature to cover the wall. He has attached pieces of stained slatted wood, window with glass, door and roof with drain pipe, window box, it looks so real in fact that several people have tried to open the door and look through the window but of course all there is behind it is a brick wall? It is a fantastic work of art and I never stop admiring it.

My other favourite pastimes are photography and rarely go out nowadays without a camera. I always wanted to draw and paint but was not given this gift so decided that taking photographs of eye catching sights was the next best thing. I have won a few prizes for my work from time to time and am now a member of a disabled Photographic club.

RETIREMENT AT LAST

I really did have to give a lot of thought to when to retire but I realised with my decreasing health and getting towards the late seventies that I should now be allowed some time to pursue my own hobbies and interests while I still have a little spare energy for them.

I have always thought that people need a listening ear when they have a problem that maybe doesn’t make sense. I have been fortunate in having good friends to listen to me if needed and I hope I have been there for others. Friends are a major part of my life now as my remaining relatives all live some distance away and I am ever thankful for the support and understanding they readily give me.

Fortunately even when first married, Mac was always happy for me to handle our finances and budget our limited income so when I became a widow this was no problem to me. The main thing of course now was that I just had my allowances to cover everything that had been paid for by two, electricity and gas being just a couple of items that are the same for one as for two!

Being only sixty I was not eligible for a widow’s pension or any financial help with Mac’s funeral expenses but as I had paid a full stamp all my working life was awarded a pension in my own right. Due to my very early enforced retirement from my nursing profession I had no pension from this source but have always been very grateful for my small industrial injury weekly payment. These and my DLA allowance have enabled me to be independent and live within my means which is so important to us all.

As the years go by I need more help with personal care and help to continue to be as independent as possible. I am fortunate to have some funding towards this which means I am able to employ and choose my own carers.

I have several friends who have lost their Partners and where only one dealt with the finances the remaining spouse has had great difficulty to manage on their own causing even more stress added to their bereavement. I would advise from personal experience that partners share financial knowledge so that in the event of bereavement whoever is left to cope on their own is fully aware of all their future responsibilities.

MEETINGS August 15th

My voluntary work was a saviour and gave me a brand new purpose in life to continue to help people with disabilities and their carers. I was now able to attend meetings without worry, of being out too long, to eat when and what I wanted, and to make decisions. After a time my confidence improved so much that instead of just attending meetings I was able to make a much more positive impact by giving my opinions, or reservations as the subject warranted.

I became a representative on sub-committees of Eastbourne Homes and Eastbourne Borough Council purely to keep in touch with all issues and regulations that affect the day to day lives of people who suffer from all aspects of disability.  Authorities on the whole do not receive enough education on the needs of certain sections of society, disabled and older people being a major factor. It is heartening now that we are asked to give our views on services and personal experiences and that these are taken seriously and investigated.

As a founder member of the MORE Club Middle of the Road Eastbourne in 1979 a social club for People who suffer from all types and degree of physical disability on becoming single again I was now free to commit more time to that aspect of my voluntary work. The local branch of the Multiple Sclerosis Society also benefitted from my knowledge and physical input in various capacities 1979 – 2003 Hon Secretary and Chair being two until an able successor took over and I could then concentrate on managing the MORE Club as Chair when we celebrated our 30^th Anniversary in 2009 retiring as Chair Person in 2011.

During my 32 years working voluntarily for the MORE Club we have maintained a membership of approximately 60 members losing many much loved friends along the way. We have always tried to keep a family atmosphere with the caring aspect to the fore-front sharing one another’s problems and giving emotional support where we can. Raising money to pay for our own transport and club running expenses has taken its toll as we have had to be entirely self funding all these years with the exception of donations from friends and local sources.

 

LIFE AS A WIDOW

The dedication of our local Crossroads carers in sitting with Mac for three hours on a Friday morning to give me space to go out made such a huge impact on me that after his death I decided to join the local Crossroads management committee to try and help others who had been in similar circumstances to myself. I did in fact remain committed to this fantastic Charity until major changes on amalgamation of local groups was made and I felt that the hands on element was being lost and was being replaced by other cost effective methods.

I really hate to admit the fact that after recovering from Macs death and funeral my new found independence and freedom was quite easy to adapt to. It was to me a complete new pathway for me to uncover and discover and was almost as if I was now living another life. After being responsible for my parents well being then voluntarily taking on Mac it was very strange not to have anyone dependent on me.

You can’t really call my wheelchair disabled friend another dependent but Jean who was widowed before me and was born with Spina Bifida and also lives only four doors away, has since Mac’s death depended on my guidance and some supervision especially when mishaps and accidents occur. In later years these have increased with magnitude and something seems now to need attention almost daily. One never knows what problem she will present you with but what do they say variety is the spice of life and at least I never have a chance to get bored? Like me Jean also receives personal care and help in the house therefore her helpers also get called upon which lessens my responsibilities.

I still get asked to treat minor injuries by my friends which I am very happy to do as once a nurse always a nurse and it is good to keep my hand in. The biggest emergency I have been involved in since my working career was when Jean strained a pan of boiling potatoes into her lap. I have heard of people doing extraordinary things in an extreme emergency and getting the strength to do it but never thought being in a wheelchair myself would give me that rush of adrenalin to prevent third degree burns.

It was in a way fortunate that I was present when the accident happened therefore I was able to drench her lower half with bowls of cold water straight from the sink and get most of her lower clothes removed without too much skin loss. When the paramedics arrived they were able to give emergency burns treatment before taking Jean to the Accident and Emergency Department of our local hospital.

Mac and I moved to our bungalow in 1982 and Mac died in January 1995. We had our last near fatal holiday together in Majorca in 1985 when Mac had a major heart attack which meant a three week period of hospitalisation in a Private Clinic in Palma.

In Spain once a patient comes out of Intensive care the relatives have to take over the nursing care and even though I was in a wheelchair I was no exception. I was given a bed in his private room but no nutrition for myself. I had to get a taxi to a local store and buy provisions for us both as Mac did not like Spanish food. There were several English people admitted to the clinic during the time we were there and I still receive Christmas Cards from three of them 25 years later. We all developed a strong bond by supporting each other while stranded in another country.

Quite understandably this was Mac’s last foreign holiday although he was quite willing for me to have a break with a friend as long as I arranged his care whilst I was away.

The six months preceding Mac’s death was a very traumatic and time-consuming period of our married life and but for the support of our local Crossroads Team I doubt whether I would have coped. Trying to change oxygen cylinders from a wheelchair is not something I would recommend but it was a regular necessity day or night or as necessary as there were long periods when his breathing was extremely laboured with his lungs needing assistance.

This part of his illness was attributed to the fact that he was a heavy smoker when we first met getting through as many as sixty cigarettes a day. I now see the harm that cigarette smoking does to people near to me and I am eternally thankful that I have never had the need or desire to join them in this occupation.

On January 25^th 1995 Mac had to be taken into hospital with chronic heart lung and liver failure but I knew when he left our marital home in the ambulance he would not be back. I visited him that evening but had a phone call at fifteen minutes past midnight on January 26^th to say he had died. Of course I was saddened but confess to feeling some relief that his suffering was over and I could now concentrate on coping with my disability without having to be constantly responsible twenty four seven for another seriously ill person in my household and having very little other support.

 

TWO WHEEL-CHAIRS & A CAR

TWO WHEEL-CHAIRS & A CAR

Our bungalow had two bedrooms which gave us much more room as we both had a manual and electric wheel chair each. If we had visitors then we had a garage to off-load surplus equipment. We had a lease car from Motability every three years which was paid for by our mobility allowance and was adapted with hand controls for me to drive.

Our first car was a mini progressing up every third year to a new model of our choice. The only problem I had when changing cars was the cost involved to transfer my hand controls and wheelchair hoist system.

The year before Mac left this world we were on the way to visit my Sister in Surrey one Sunday when an elderly gentleman smashed into the rear of my car luckily Mac was unhurt but I suffered yet another whip-lash injury which affected my old cervical fracture of many years previously.

Our car needed a lot of body repair and I was eventually awarded some financial compensation for my injury as the other driver was at fault I did not lose my no claim bonus.

 After Mac died I decided to buy the car I had instead of taking another lease out and as the mileage was very low it was to me a practical cost effective idea. It was fortunate that I had the compensation money to fall back on as otherwise this option would not have been possible.

The car an automatic Vauxhall Astra 1.6 two door vehicle has provided good service for the limited times I need it and still does although I can only drive it now if I have someone with me to lift my wheelchair in and out of the boot as I am no longer able to use the wheelchair system myself.

OUR BUNGALOW

A good friend and her husband helped us move into our new home and especially as we had a lot of work to pay for such as interior decorations, carpets fixtures and fittings, for which we had to take out the only loan of our married life. It is interesting to note that now when a bungalow or house belonging to Eastbourne homes becomes vacant the whole residence is redecorated ready for the new tenant thank goodness things have changed for the better.

We now had a front and rear garden, patio and a large grassed area. A large ginger cat called Oscar had adopted us at our previous flat so when we moved we had no choice but to bring him with us. He loved his new surroundings and lived with us till he was 15 when he developed cancer and had to be put to sleep.

It was unbearable to be without a pet so after a few weeks I contacted the Cats Protection League re adopting a homeless feline. We had to undergo a house inspection by them to see if our premises were suitable and passed with flying colours.  Mac and I were soon off to see a lady who had some kittens. The Mother was a Birman who had two adorable fluffy chocolate brown babies and we chose the male I would probably have taken the female as well but she was spoken for.

As our new baby was only three weeks old we couldn’t take him home for another three weeks but on the way as we passed the ladies kitchen I espied a very young ginger cat sitting on top of the fridge. The Lady explained he had been found under a car in a pool of oil when he was rescued the day before but she had bathed him and he was ready to be re-homed. Before I could say anything Sebastian jumped into my lap and had won my heart! His foster mother agreed to me having him but wanted to know about the kitten I had just chosen? Don’t worry I said they will be company for each other, we will have them both! Mac never spoke a word he didn’t dare!  

Sebbie was with us for a week and settled in well but when Alistair arrived ten days later we had many battles to overcome because Sebbie did not want to share his home. They did however become the best of friends although Ali always thought his superior breed was worthy of more attention. Due to his high breeding he had a congenital heart defect and had to be given medication most of his life but one day at the age of seven he went to sleep on our patio and never woke up. Losing a pet is really traumatic but more bearable if they die naturally without the Vets intervention.

A few months before I lost Ali my next door neighbour died leaving a small ginger and white cat called Robbie homeless. The neighbours ex wife turned up and said she would have him put to sleep so until Ali died we had three cats. After Ali left us I still had three because the lady two doors away died and her ginger cat adopted me. I had no idea of his name so called him Samuel Sam for short. I will never know how I became the owner of three ginger cats Sebbie, Robbie and Sam having such totally different personalities but they are adored and completely rule my house-hold.