LIFE AS A WIDOW

The dedication of our local Crossroads carers in sitting with Mac for three hours on a Friday morning to give me space to go out made such a huge impact on me that after his death I decided to join the local Crossroads management committee to try and help others who had been in similar circumstances to myself. I did in fact remain committed to this fantastic Charity until major changes on amalgamation of local groups was made and I felt that the hands on element was being lost and was being replaced by other cost effective methods.

I really hate to admit the fact that after recovering from Macs death and funeral my new found independence and freedom was quite easy to adapt to. It was to me a complete new pathway for me to uncover and discover and was almost as if I was now living another life. After being responsible for my parents well being then voluntarily taking on Mac it was very strange not to have anyone dependent on me.

You can’t really call my wheelchair disabled friend another dependent but Jean who was widowed before me and was born with Spina Bifida and also lives only four doors away, has since Mac’s death depended on my guidance and some supervision especially when mishaps and accidents occur. In later years these have increased with magnitude and something seems now to need attention almost daily. One never knows what problem she will present you with but what do they say variety is the spice of life and at least I never have a chance to get bored? Like me Jean also receives personal care and help in the house therefore her helpers also get called upon which lessens my responsibilities.

I still get asked to treat minor injuries by my friends which I am very happy to do as once a nurse always a nurse and it is good to keep my hand in. The biggest emergency I have been involved in since my working career was when Jean strained a pan of boiling potatoes into her lap. I have heard of people doing extraordinary things in an extreme emergency and getting the strength to do it but never thought being in a wheelchair myself would give me that rush of adrenalin to prevent third degree burns.

It was in a way fortunate that I was present when the accident happened therefore I was able to drench her lower half with bowls of cold water straight from the sink and get most of her lower clothes removed without too much skin loss. When the paramedics arrived they were able to give emergency burns treatment before taking Jean to the Accident and Emergency Department of our local hospital.